| "I tried to fix it myself." | I have made it much, much worse. |
| "I already tried that ten times." | I actually recognised one of the words you said when you started speaking and after that I stopped listening. |
| "The computer deleted my file." | I deleted my file. |
| "This wouldn’t have happened if we used Macs." | Macs. Because shiny! |
| "You’re pretty good with computers, right?" | The next thing I say will be can you fix my personal laptop/tablet/phone/lawnmower/cat, in your own time, for free? |
| "Is it possible to delete an email after you’ve sent it?" | Get some popcorn, this is going to be good ... |
| "I think the firewall is blocking me." | I don’t know what a firewall does but I like the word so I just threw it in there as a sort of garnish. You can probably rule out the firewall. |
| "Is there something wrong with Exchange?" | I have done something stupid to my email. |
| "Why does this always happen?" | This is the second time this has happened to me! I forgot to tell you the other time. If this is my fault, I’ll forget this one too. |
| "Ever since you…" | I’m pretty sure you broke my computer’s ?? or something when you reset my password. |
| "It worked yesterday." | It worked right up to the point I changed it. |
| "It would be easier if you just made me an admin." | I’ve got big plans for this laptop. You’ll have to burn it to the ground when I’m done with it. |